Enough

I picked up this audiobook because I had been riveted by the author's testimony for the Congressional hearings on the January 6th Insurrection and I wanted to know more about what led up to this and what happened afterwards. The author had been one of the star witnesses in piecing together what led up to the attempted election steal and who was ultimately responsible for it. More than half the story, however, is an account of how the author was led to politics and ended up under the Trump umbrella, owing to her early upbringing. The story follows a circle with her early experience of dealing with a narcissistic, controlling family member and family development and returns back around to that theme with regard to the President's cult of personality. I'm not a Republican but I am able to respect those who sincerely believe in foundational Republican ideals which inspire them to do the best for their country. To me it seems like objective fact that that party had started to diverge from those ideals by the 1980s, before the birth of the author, and has largely stopped representing the principles it had.

It is interesting how late in the book the realization came to Cassidy Hutchinson that something was wrong about the way things were run in the Trump White House. Any suggestion otherwise was attributed to partisan attacks and wasn't credible criticism. To suggest otherwise would be regarded as disloyalty. There was no inkling that the America First foreign policy or the economic favors disproportionately granted to the wealthy could have been called in for sincere questioning. Nothing about the dismay the opposition had for things like the southern border wall, the admiration of foreign strongmen, or the travel ban on Muslims could be part of legitimate subjects of debate. It really wasn't until the 2020 election turned against re-election and strange secretive meetings began happening in the White House that doubts came to the author's mind whether following this President was a good course to continue following. Not until the new year does she describe taking any action against the line being handed down. The break with Trumpworld did not happen until late in the January 6th committee investigation after Hutchinson was nearly out of money. The account rings true to my ear - there is little trace of spinning the author's journey as a tale of personal heroism undertaken after some grand epiphany. Very few other staffers appear to have followed the same course. All of the this comes as a surprise to a liberal who has been solidly in the opposition all four years of the regime, but maybe it shouldn't be. Mobility across ideological lines in not what it used to be where both sides now impose purity tests on their followers with harsh penalties for for transgressors. And personal safety is not guaranteed to those who stray past the boundaries.

This audiobook is read by the author, who is neither a professional narrator or nonfiction writer. I think hearing it in her own voice might dispose a listener to be less critical of the story, more compassionate in the end, but it seems only natural. There were many times where my reaction was "no, don't do that!" or "why did this happen?" but some of that is probably a matter of too little empathy on my part. In the end, I felt a great deal of satisfaction to hear how this one insider found a way to break away from a toxic brew being served up by an unworthy leader, one who has never yet acknowledged a shred of guilt in what terrible things he has unleashed.