terrifying and heart-breaking
Reviews and Comments
prairie trans girl trying to read her way, however slowly, out of oblivion
on the wider fediverse using mastodon at: queer.party/@briellebouquet
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briellebouquet finished reading The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison
briellebouquet reviewed Summer of my amazing luck by Miriam Toews
i lived in this book for a while
5 stars
i immediately became best friends with all of the characters. even the ones who kinda made me roll my eyes a little. everyone was so warm and vibrant and alive that i connected to all of them in some way almost immediately, and so, i really felt it when their stories were recounted. or when times got tough.
there was commentary on the welfare system in the 90s. there was some moralizing, and there were some shots at a system that seems determined to hurt and kill people. but, rather than get bogged down in frustration, the novel expresses this angst and frustration through occasional outbursts from lish. little bits of an insane response while living through insane circumstances of poverty and life on the dole. which is great, because it's hard not to become frustrated or even angry about how cruel and absurd being on welfare is. but the …
i immediately became best friends with all of the characters. even the ones who kinda made me roll my eyes a little. everyone was so warm and vibrant and alive that i connected to all of them in some way almost immediately, and so, i really felt it when their stories were recounted. or when times got tough.
there was commentary on the welfare system in the 90s. there was some moralizing, and there were some shots at a system that seems determined to hurt and kill people. but, rather than get bogged down in frustration, the novel expresses this angst and frustration through occasional outbursts from lish. little bits of an insane response while living through insane circumstances of poverty and life on the dole. which is great, because it's hard not to become frustrated or even angry about how cruel and absurd being on welfare is. but the novel remains largely focused on the stories it tells, of lucy, of lish, and of the other women at half-a-life. and it mostly treats the hypocrisy and incongruity in the system with a quick joke for a cheap laugh. which contributes to the warmth in lucy's narrative.
it was also a loving tribute to poor single motherhood. to the joys and the hardships of surviving and taking care of your kids. the dedication of the mostly young mothers. the adversity they just kinda shrug off and live with to protect their kids, time after time after time. the stigma of being on welfare, and the consequences of that stigma in how men treat them. but also the joy in the little weird things kids do. grass tipping from dill's head and confusing him, as he leans down to pick more grass, to put more grass on his head. the little noises and quirks. lish's precocious kids absolutely loving to learn, loving school, and putting on little performances and playing games as they grow up.
this was a wonderful novel to get absorbed into and i'm very lucky that my girlfriend was sweet enough to lend it to me <3
briellebouquet finished reading Summer of my amazing luck by Miriam Toews
briellebouquet reviewed Saving Our Own Lives by Shira Hassan
origins and structures of harm reduction thought
4 stars
i feel like i have a better understanding of the roots and origins of harm reduction. especially the contributions of queer Black and Indigenous folk.
i found a sense of kinship in ethical considerations with shira hassan and many of the contributors who she interviewed for this work. it also gave me some hope. there are ways to push back against the cruelty of the society we live in, by choosing life, and without choosing violence.
briellebouquet finished reading Saving Our Own Lives by Shira Hassan
briellebouquet started reading Ancillary Mercy by Ann Leckie (Imperial Radch, #3)
briellebouquet started reading Saving Our Own Lives by Shira Hassan
looking to read up on harm reduction, in part due to personal interest, and in part due to wanting to find volunteer and/or paid work in practicing harm reduction. the rosario dawson afterword advertised on the cover kinda threw me off but i decided to start this one anyway and i'm glad, so far, that i did.
briellebouquet started reading Ancillary Sword by Ann Leckie (Imperial Radch, #2)
briellebouquet stopped reading Neuromancer by William Gibson
i got really hung up for i think ADHD reasons. i found myself having trouble placing settings in the story. i kept having to flip back to internalize where things were happening. i just couldn't keep track of details. i'd finished neuromancer in the past and this was an attempted re-read, so i decided to let it go and move on to more Ancillary series stuff!
briellebouquet started reading Neuromancer by William Gibson
briellebouquet reviewed Ancillary Justice by Ann Leckie (Imperial Radch, #1)
neat exercise in perspective and cool worldbuilding
4 stars
writing a protagonist who is several different people wrapped into one consciousness, and is for some part of the story, not necessarily reliable as a storyteller, feels like it would've been a challenge, but ann leckie made it seem natural
the worldbuilding is, typically for good sci fi, brilliant. i felt absorbed into it. the constant surveillance within the radch is disturbing and feels connected to the real-life present. the colour and the characters are lovely.
i also noted that this is ann leckie's first full length novel and i'm super impressed.
i'm eager to read the next 2 in the series, though i'm going to read something else in between so i don't get series burnout!
briellebouquet started reading Ancillary Justice by Ann Leckie (Imperial Radch, #1)
briellebouquet reviewed Stone Butch Blues by Leslie Feinberg
love, community, and the terrors of queer hatred
5 stars
i knew long before i read this that it would be important to me.
from a historical perspective, it shines a light on the realities of being a lesbian in the 60s and 70s. of being transmasculine and searching for terminology and self-understanding in a culture that didn't even marginally recognize gender outside the binary. or sexuality outside the hetero. it shines a light on surviving abusive parents. on finding community without the internet. of navigating complex queer subcultures. and hatred in its many forms, up to and including bar raids, arrests, and unspeakable abuses by cops.
it also illuminates and speaks to the beauty of love and friendship and comradeship within those queer communities. the intricacies in how butches and femmes and transfemmes interacted. i was able to see myself in the warmth and emotionality and fierce bravery in the face of fear and violence expressed by the femmes …
i knew long before i read this that it would be important to me.
from a historical perspective, it shines a light on the realities of being a lesbian in the 60s and 70s. of being transmasculine and searching for terminology and self-understanding in a culture that didn't even marginally recognize gender outside the binary. or sexuality outside the hetero. it shines a light on surviving abusive parents. on finding community without the internet. of navigating complex queer subcultures. and hatred in its many forms, up to and including bar raids, arrests, and unspeakable abuses by cops.
it also illuminates and speaks to the beauty of love and friendship and comradeship within those queer communities. the intricacies in how butches and femmes and transfemmes interacted. i was able to see myself in the warmth and emotionality and fierce bravery in the face of fear and violence expressed by the femmes and that will stick with me forever.
the narrative also details the struggles of unions through economic upturns and downturns. the constant fight for unity against unsafe work conditions and dangerously low pay.
stone butch blues is a brilliant, intense work of art that carries the weight of history in its pages. it's important reading for anyone interested in queer history, queer present, and queer futures.
briellebouquet finished reading Stone Butch Blues by Leslie Feinberg
this book was incredibly meaningful to me. i saw myself in it at times, out of place and time. i saw history. i saw oppression on a scale that i dont experience today as a white canadian trans lady.
the butches, the femmes, the others, the neithers, the trans men, women, enbies of the 60s and 70s, really did change the world. it's still scary and there's still work to do. but their suffering, the wars they had to fight, meant something.
i hope it's the same for me.