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We've all done harm. This book is about how to react - how to acknowledge and own the harm we cause, how to change for the better, how to make amends, apologize, and in the future in similar situations make different choices so we don't repeat the harm. Ruttenberg bases her work on the medieval philosopher and theologian Maimonides, specifically the Laws of Repentance he formulated in his Mishneh Torah.

She doesn't always agree with Maimonides, but she convincingly argues that the five steps he put forth are still a useful framework for repentance today, and not just in the context of Jewish communities and Rabbinic religious law that Maimonides had in mind. The experience of (having caused) harm and the need to repair and improve the state of our world is universal, and both the features of repentance and its effect are not tied to any particular culture or religion. Although the five steps of repentance are about what the perpetrator must do, the approach centers the victim's needs. The process aims not at returning to the status quo, stressing instead that repentance work must transform the harmdoer so that they won't repeat the harm.

Ruttenberg uses clear, calm language, with a few conversational sentences thrown in. Her writing is full of empathy - never mean, condescending, or judgmental from a self-proclaimed moral high ground. The book is well-structured and full of real-life examples used to great effect. Ruttenberg explores what useful repentance work might be (and what isn't) in various settings: interpersonal harm that concerns only few persons, harm that spreads into the public sphere, harm caused by institutions and even by nations.

I found the book illuminating and helpful. It encourages us to engage in the hard, but rewarding work of repentance and become a better version of ourselves.