![Zendegi (2011, [S.l.])](/images/covers/08dfcdd3-7931-40ef-8302-6a36887fa82e.jpeg)
Gilda, a twenty-something, atheist, animal-loving lesbian, cannot stop ruminating about death. Desperate for relief from …
A touching gaze into the flow of consciousness of a twentish depressed lesbian
4 stars
Content warning suicide, violence
I received this book as a gift from my sister. The bookstore put it into a kraft enveloppe so that she could not look at the cover nor read the summary. There were three keywords on small post-its. "Lesbians, Catholicism, Depression". She thought I would enjoy it.
I did, a lot. It's the first book I read that describes what I go through when I'm having a panick attack. The feeling of dying for no particular reason, and the coping mechanism (destoying things, crying into the bathroom). Both the vastness and emptyness of the universe.
It is a very touching book. It also deals with really dark things, like intrusive thoughts. There's one specific thought described in the book I struggle a lot: when I carry a baby, I must be very careful to not think about hurting them.
Finally, I enjoyed the writing. There are four big parts in the book, but most of the text is a succession of impactful sentences. They are usually short but can deploy into longer strings of words that express very deep and sincere stuff.
