Kindness A partner who is gentle with our imperfections and can good-humouredly tolerate us as we are.

Shared vulnerability Someone with whom we can be open about our anxieties, worries and problems; someone we don't have to put on a front for; someone around whom we can be weak, vulnerable and honest - and who will be the same around us.

Understanding Someone who is interested in, and can make sense of, the obscure features of our minds: our obsessions, preoccupations and ways of seeing the world. And whom we are excited to understand in turn. If we have these three critical ingredients to hand, we will feel loved and essentially satisfied, whatever differences might later crop up.

— Simpler Life by Alain de Botton, The School Life of School The (Page 13)